The Qualities of Men
Why must we always complain about men? No no. Let's talk about the positives. The awesomeness. Here are some Men-qualities, that I wish I had!
1) Focus, baby, Focus
Distracted men are like unicorns: They don't exist.
When cricket is on TV, nothing else exists.
When they play football, nothing else exists.
When they hang out with other guys, nothing else exists.
They are the Jason Bourne of memories. Distracted women are like bad bollywood movies: They exist. So when cricket is on TV, everything else still exists..... the bad day at work, the fried pakoda they ate 10 mins ago, the tighter jeans, revisiting 10 versions of a late retort they should have given to someone yesterday. The razor sharp focus in men, is the result of the ability of men to compartmentalize their brains. They can switch their emotion gears quicker than schumacher on a race track. They move on in a snap! In a moment they've broken up with their girlfriend over email and in the next hour they are analyzing Virat Kohli's performance in the 2013 India Vs Sri Lanka ODI. I wish I could live in the moment, like them men do.
2) Aainay mein chehera dekha hai kya?
Men love themselves. They could walk around with messy hair, unshaven cheeks and unwashed t-shirt, and they will still be confident. A woman, on the other hand, no matter how well dressed and manicured, will always wonder .... 'Is my hair okay? Am I looking fat??' I must admit, men are almost forced to be themselves, since societal protocol doesn't lend itself to make available a market of cosmetics, for men to enhance their looks. So if they have curly hair, and bushy eyebrows, they won't run to the straightener or the threading salon. Societal protocol for women, is unforgiving when it comes to appearances, and facial hair! I wish I could care less about my appearance, like them men do.
3) Mere paas gaadi hai, bangla hai...!
Men talk like Amitabh Bachchan. They deliver wrong answers with conviction, confidence and poise, and are definitive about their judgement, even if it is about a topic they know nothing about. They beam with confidence over a job 50% well done, and I haven't met a woman who would show off her knowledge or a job 110% well done. I wish I could talk with confidence, like them men do.
4) 2 + 2 = 4
Men are very realistic and practical. For women, the answer to 2 + 2 , depends on the time of the day, context, history, what the future might hold. 'Let's assume the value of 2+2 is going to be between 101 and 392 because in the future, I might get a haircut on wednesday'. Men are awake. They understand when to stop talking, be objective, and solve a problem with their heads. Late fee on Bill? -> Pay it and forget it. Call not returned? -> Blank. No thoughts. Choice of restaurant? -> Who cares. I'm hungry, lets eat. I wish I could be more realistic, like them men are.
5) Look ma! There's a muffler in my mouth!
Magically, men know exactly what to say and when to say. Gossip with the right people; expletives effortlessly held back when a woman is around, are just a few examples of how men are naturals at thinking before they talk. They don't discuss private information with acquaintances (while we women, make acquaintances by discussing private information) and are prudent about their choice of topics given an audience. I wish I had a filter, like men do.
6) Boys don't cry
A girl once told me
'When I am 25% sad, my eyes are 100% sad'.
There is so much power, in not being able to generate tears. Imagine being at work, and tearing up over a small incident? How embarrassing! Men can go through the toughest of situations with dry eyes. It's way less work and cleaning up, trust me. In my tough times, I spend a lot of time just throwing bucketloads of tears out of the window. I wish I could cry less, like them men do.
7) Men make great bottle openers
Men are very useful! They can open all sort of bottles covers with relative ease. :) No grocery is too difficult to lift. No furniture is too heavy to move. No shelf is too high to reach. I wish I were stronger, like them men are.
8) 'Don't worry... I got it'
I am impressed by how men take charge of the situation and are perfectly ok with taking up annoying and mundane tasks. They take it on themselves to make reservations, get up to get more spoons, walk out to hail a cab, run back to pick up forgotten keys and so on! Tell me, have you ever seen a woman say
"You get off here, i'll park and come"
Have you? Have you?